I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
