His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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