He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
