i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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