OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
