My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize