Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
