you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
