I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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