just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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