If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
