the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
