So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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