I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I love you. Go after that dick
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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