kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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