Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
