I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
