We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I will be naked everywhere
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
