Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
