New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
