Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he was CRYING into my vagina
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize