2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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