Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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