So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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