i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
