why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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