she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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