i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
