i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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