C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
