4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
