ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
