NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
