why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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