Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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