goodnight i made you a song goodbye
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
