Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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