If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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