i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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