I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were trust falling into bushes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
