my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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