i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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