"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
