So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
