can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
