fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
