I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
