So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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