Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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