I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
