Yo dont text me then not text me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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