i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yo dont text me then not text me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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