I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Boobs are out for the taking
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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