her vagine was all disorganized.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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