I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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