can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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