I hope mine doesn't look like that
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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