please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
