i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My bed smells like the plague
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
