We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
