Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
