all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
