If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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