Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The power of my boobs compel you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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